so the new terminator is...my grandma?

so this is probably my last post as a public blog. i feel like there are two reasons i don't post very often.

1. i have little time to do so and with any free time i have, either my wife has my computer and is blogging herself or i am playing videogames.

2. i don't want random randy knowing what i feel about life.

so if you are interested in hearing about my life and maybe laughing at my stupid sense of humor, then message me with your email so i can invite you into my private blog. see, there's a joke there that i'm staying away from because i don't want randy getting the wrong idea about me.

i also will be starting a public design blog that will be directed from my portfolio website that will be public so keep an eye out for that.

on to the business at hand...cyborgs. it's looking like the connors were right. i just read a story about a tsukuba university professor named yoshiyuki sankai who developed the hal-5:

this is apparently a device designed for the handicapped and the elderly who have an extra $2,200 a month laying around in their hoveround scooter's front basket. tony stark would be proud.

so here's the kicker. the manufacturer is cyberdyne. CYBERDYNE!? CYBERDYNE!? ok, when the brainstorming session is going on at your robotic manufacturing company, would somebody NOT google the history of the name cyberdyne when ping pong suggests it and wang chung says, "hey, yeah that sounds super cool happy funtime!"? seriously wikipedia is not hard to use, and i'm pretty sure it's translated into japanese.

so the real cyberdyne (the grandma supercharging robotic company) is apparently not suposed to confuse us with cyberdyne systems (and i quote "best known for its genocidal skynet AI and army of terminator robots). it kind of makes you think about how important all the research mrs. pomelhorse in 7th grade english class made you do on the history of god knows what was building a good habit. don't name your robotic manufacturing company after a fictional robotic manufacturing company that caused the apocalypse, defecated on the space time continuum, and peaked out edward furlong's career. 

i am excited how christian bale will make this all better though.

matt damon

thinking about taking my blog private. let me hear your thoughts. advantages, disadvantages. let me hear from both sides (those with public, those with private, those that have gone private and are thinking of going public, those that are public and know someone who went private because of the public, saving private ryan, stephen spielberg, elmo...you know, both sides). i'm just thinking i don't want to hesitate to post stuff about myself that i might want my friends to know, but not the rest of the dirty internets.

lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutans, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats...

so thanks to glenda's blog, and rhoda's yells through the internets, i have realized i haven't posted in 10 months. reflection upon why prompted me to think of me finishing my degree in graphic design, planning for a wedding, and the fact that whenever i feel like posting...i go make a sandwich. i like to eat the sandwiches.

so as me and ro have a new apartment and will be starting a new life together, we want to start it off right with as much mass produced, inexpensive, swiss flair as we can get our hands on. we therefore took a trip to ikea. granted it was fun walking around picking up the necessary flatwear dividers, lederhosen, and the like. but the real excitement (as always) was in the bathroom.

as i went to take care of business (as we all do), i was met with a wonderful sight that brought a tear to me eye. finally, after all these years pleading to the better business bureau for an emergency button next to the toilet, they've finally stepped up to the plate.

now i have never personally had a medical emergency on the toilet, but it is my biggest fear. if i ever did have an emergency in any normal, non-swiss bathroom, there would be no button for me to push for the authorities to come break down the door and save me. thank you switzerland for bringing your neutral medical buttons of bathroom emergencies to our great land of the free. 

as we approach the fourth of july, while you remember the signing of our independence from the oppression of great britain, i also ask you all to remember the country just north of our oppressors who brought us this incredible invention of dependence on the swiss to come through if you have an emergency...in the bathroom.

I kill me! -Alf

So I'm a nerd and I laugh at myself a lot because I think I'm a pretty funny guy. I feel like a dork though when I'm ROTFLOL all over myself when I'm reading old posts and everyone is looking at me like I just kicked a chipmunk.

So it's really hot up here and I haven't posted in like 3 months and I got all engaged just like Captain Picard. So I'm boo koo exicted about the new Indana Jones movie and the new Batman movie and the new Star Trek movie. I also want to finish The Inheritance Trilogy really badly. So I'm pretty tired now, I think I'll go talk to my mom for a couple hours again.

Capri Suns are hard to open.

Your mom goes to college

So its my mom's birthday. I mean mother's day. I bought her a kyak. I mean WillowTree figurine. She screamed incohearantly and threw a spoon up against the window. I mean she loved it and cried. I love my mom. I mean I really love my mom.

I really do thank God all the time for being blessed with amazing parents. I could not ever imagine having anyone better. I would probably die or just be really really crabby if they weren't in my life.

She cried when she read my awesome card too. It had a boy in a cowboy hat on it. And some words about feelings and stuff. Mom's eat that stuff up. Especially little cowboy babies.